Cindy McCain and Phil Spector are at opposite extremes of the marriage spectrum - Cindy only escapes her marital prison when away from her husband: Phil only found marital love after being sent to prison.

 

The Stanton Peele Addiction Website, June 27, 2010. This blog post also appeared on Stanton's Addiction in Society blog at PsychologyToday.com.

Be My Baby: Love, Marriage, and Prison

Cindy McCain and Phil Spector are at opposite extremes of marrital happiness: Cindy only escapes her marital prison when away from her husband; Phil only found marital love after being sent to prison.

Cindy McCainI saw Cindy McCain interviewed in Central Park around a charity race she was sponsoring. She wasn't uptight and depressed like I thought she was. She was wearing a tee-shirt, had short hair, and looked great - happy and engaged. I realize now that I had been judging the poor woman in her worst circumstance - with her husband.

Then I noted the featured issue for PT Blogs was "bad romance." The bannered catch phrases included: "Stop Criticizing Your Mate: Remember why you fell in love" and "The Expectations Trap: Your unhappiness may not be your fault - or your partner's." I wondered if anyone achieves the featured section's subheading: "The bumpy road to a happy ending?" (This is not a subliminal reference to what Al Gore wanted from his masseuse!)

Are there happy endings? PT Blogger Christopher Ryan, co-author of Sex at Dawn, describes monogamy as a pulp fiction visited on us by religion and wistful interpretations of evolution. Of course, the dissolution of the storied romance between the love birds Al and Tipper Gore (put that massage out of your mind!) also shook my faith in everlasting love.

Then there is the book about a man in a fairly standard marriage who is being investigated for murdering his wife - by two cops who are contemplating - or are guilty of - killing their spouses! In the lead review in the NY Times Sunday Book Review, titled "Death Match," Scott Turow says of Mr. Peanut (the protagonist's wife died with his hands in her mouth due to an allergic reaction to peanuts):

"[Author Adam Ross] flouts the treasured conceptions of love and marriage many of us depend on to make it through the day. Mr. Peanut is most harrowing in its bleakly convincing portrayal of the eternal contest that often passes for a marriage, with each partner holding the other responsible for his or her deepest unhappiness."

Holy mackerel! Is it that bad out there?

Phil SpectorIf it weren't for Rachelle Spector, I'd really be pessimistic about happy endings! She is the former Playboy model who married renowned rock producer Phil Spector following Spector's murder of Lana Clarkson in 2003 and a book by Spector's first wife, Ronnie Spector ("Be My Baby"), about her years of psychological abuse at Spector's hands. (But where was she when poor Phil couldn't get laid? - which is presumably why he shot Ms. Clarkson in the face.)

 

Pictures: Cindy McCain looking like a captive hawk appearing with her husband on the presidential campaign trail, and Phil Spector during his trial for the murder of Lana Clarkson.