David Letterman will be serverly restricted in his top ten lists from now on.
The Stanton Peele Addiction Website, October 5, 2009. This blog post also appeared on Stanton's Addiction in Society blog at PsychologyToday.com.
Top Ten List: Why Letterman Can't Do Any More Sarah Palin Top-Ten Lists
Dave will lose many Late Show Top Ten List topics since these lists often skewer public figures who go astray - along with dissing Sarah Palin. It will just take more chutzpah than even Dave can muster to read these with a straight face now. But here's one he can use in their place.
Top Ten Reasons Dave Can't Do Any More Sarah Palin Top-Ten Lists
10. The only people screwing youngsters in the Palin family are other youngsters.
9. Todd became First Dude by marrying Sarah BEFORE impregnating her.
8. At least Alex Rodriguez doesn't date Yankee ball girls.
7. At least Madonna doesn't sign her boy toy's paychecks.
6. "Bring me some coffee - then open my fly."
5. "Hmmm, calling Sarah Palin a slutty flight attendant got me horney - get my travel agent."
4. "I'm much better than Mark Sanford - he cheated on the mother of his FOUR sons."
3. "I learned a lot about interns from our best president, Bill Clinton."
2. "Don't be comparing me with Polanski - I think that NYU intern was old enough to drink."
1. "I'm much better than Woody Allen - I don't date relatives."